What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 30.06.2025 00:04
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Is heroin really as good as people say it is?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Make Nazis afraid again!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.